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Roger Goodell Suffering From Concussion Following NFL Draft

Roger Goodell Suffering From Concussion Following NFL Draft

NEW YORK CITY — NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell left the stage in delirium after announcing the final pick of the first round of the NFL Draft last night. After a series of examinations, doctors concluded that he had suffered a concussion sometime after the Jets’ number 13 pick. While Goodell himself was unavailable for comment, his medical staff(…)

Reese Witherspoon’s Documented History Of Anti Police Behavior

Reese Witherspoon’s Documented History Of Anti Police Behavior

Star actress Reese Witherspoon was recently arrested for disorderly conduct after she failed to cooperate with an officer who was also arresting her husband for suspicion of driving under the influence. While Witherspoon’s behavior may seem surprising, she has a history of run ins with the law before. Here she is fleeing a looting of(…)

Lindsey Graham Tearfully Packs Up Water-Boarding Set After Learning Boston Bombing Suspect Will Not Be Tried As Enemy Combatant

  Although a number of Republican officials have called for Boston bombing suspect Dzhokhar Tsarnaev to be tried as an enemy combatant, the White House has announced that will not be the case. News of the development deeply affected Senator Lindsey Graham, who had already unwrapped and prepped the water-boarding set he got for Christmas last(…)

(What If) Chappelle’s Show Racial Draft 2013

When Chappelle’s Show ended in 2006 it not only left the world void on one of the greatest comedy programs of all time, but we also never got to see another racial draft. Now, not to say that we can recapture that pivotal moment in history, but for the sake of what ifs, we are(…)

Midwest Teachers Desperately In Need of Another Snow Day

  CHICAGO—As the midwest braces for another winter storm, many teachers are anxiously praying that mother nature delivers enough snowfall to force schools to shut down. The desire to miss as many days as possible may have something to do with national survey’s revealing that most teachers are unhappy with their jobs. “I really need(…)

Safest Choices to Host 2014 Oscars

Safest Choices to Host 2014 Oscars

It seems like no matter who the Academy chooses to host the Oscars, viewers are unhappy or offended. I can’t help but think the root of evil in all of this is comedy. So, rather than keep fighting this ongoing battle to please everyone, I suggest the Academy takes a different approach next year and(…)